23rd August - 36 hours still counting

yea,broke the record..
havent sleep for 36 hours..
tat's me when it's final exam..
think u know me well?
think again..
im friggin tired..
my head is heavy,
full of formulae,
words,
definition,
figures,
and so on...
i don't have much time to think of others right now..
is time for me to being selfish for once..
please think of me...
wan fuck me or wat,
go ahead...
but fuck me after i release all the burden,
if u fuck me at these time,
u will be fucked back upside down...
sorry to say..
peace! ._.v

im now studying,
more concentration this time..
had kopi o ice when im drinking with my frens juz now,
but i guess, that doesnt help alot..
after back from drinking,
bath for a very long time,
sitting down under the shower,
bathing is the only time i can really think..
besides,i've view several pictures of my bro frens that is studying in UK,
i envy them,
they started to travel around the world,
and after their final exam ends,
there are going on an europe trip..
i seriously do envy them..
especially watching them stepping on the green field and clear blue sky of Scotland,
i do wish to visit those places also,
not say that i would't have the chance to do so,
i do have the chance,
but i must work harder,
not in the point of working harder to earn money to go that places,
the point im talking about is studying hard and grab the opportunity to study abroad..
i seriously do hope everything goes well for me at Tarc..
so that i can study abroad with my college mates at UK
and together we travel around the world,
that's my target,
it's not impossible,but hard to achieve..
so,here am i..
studying hard to achieve it..
listen to the chinese songs,
and doing revision of the PYQ,
that's my style of study,
at the past,
it's been a long time i didn't tune up to the chinese song,
till today...
i didnt sleep for 36 hours and more,
and it's still counting..
tick tock tick tock....
blogged too much recently,
izit because im too emo?
or maybe a better words to say,
i have alot of problems to be share?
well,who cares..
i die,my problem...

22th August - demi-zombie?

it's my first time to blog early in the morning..
it's already not my 1st time to be around at tis time,
i've been doing this for a week,
staying up late at night,
till the morning..
if im lucky,i can sleep from morning till the noon..
if im not lucky,i can stay awake for at least 36 hours..
if im in between, i can sleep for at least 2 hours..
that's me for the past 1 week..=D
today,im slightly different..
i thought that i can sleep till today morning,
but i can just sleep for 1 and half hour only..
slept at 5,and woke up at 630...wtf-ed..
i have a huge eye bag..
and im walking like a zombie..
doesn't have appetite to eat,
but i feel thirsty everytime..
i guess im losing my weight again...=/
another 3 more days will be the beginning of final exam..
everyone are stressing,so do i...
was hoping to slower down the time so that i can have more time to study,
and hoping the time passes faster,so that the exam ends quickly..

19th August - inception?

while i'm studying
out of sudden,i reminded that i promised someone to write bout wat i dreamt yesterday
i can say that,it's my 1st time to have such dream...
i have such dream,is maybe because of im too tired recently..
ok,i'll try to write something out...as not everyone will fully memorize the dream they had before..
unless they often dream about it..

while i was sleeping yesterday,
i had a dream that it's set at a classroom of my secondary school
in the dream,im at the pendidikan moral class..
not much student around...
but at the time,i was sleeping peacefully at the classroom
i still remember i sat at the front row,
while teacher doesnt really pay attention at me, i continue sleep peacefully..
as im sleeping that time(inside the dream), i had a dream inside that dream..
tat means i entered the 2nd stage of the dream..
inside the 2nd stage dream, i wasnt too clear wat is going on...
but all i really remember is,
im sitting at the exam hall..
i looked around..
students were answering the question,
while the teacher is patrolling..
i looked at the exam paper,
and im in total blank...
suddenly,i woke up and im back to the 1st stage of dream..
and at the 1st stage of dream,im finding someone at the classroom..
while im finding for that someone,i felt strange..
as the person that im looking for is a friend from college,
and im still at the secondary school..
that means,i was looking for someone that i doesnt know at all...
den,i woke up...and im at the reality world...LOL!

messy dream,wtf is that...==

16th August - wake up!

this will be my last weekends to play/sleep/dreaming/relax..
i gotta serious with my studies already..
the final exam is just few days away,
i still have time to study for it..
i must get serious with it..
no more jokes,
no more fooling around,
and putting all my efforts in my studies..
im not sure whether i can do it,
but all i know is i MUST do it,
i must NOT fail...
i won't fail myself again,never!
is time to get crazy again with the notes and books,
there is no more day and night for me,
my life will be very messy for following 2 weeks...
let's see wat can i do,
and of course,wish me luck please...
i dun wanna die in my room..
not with my notes..

14th August - do it or leave it...

i started to have sleepless night ever since i know that i have to repeat a subject on this semester,
i wouldn't say im too sad nor happy,
as i know i would fail,
and i let myself to think in another point of view,
it wasn't a very bad news for me anyway,
as the exam timetable is very packed,
barely have a chance to breathe,
since i dun have to sit for a subject in the final exam,
that makes me have more time to study for other subjects,
that's the advantage,while the disadvantage of repeating a subject is
i have to pay more,much more..
i have to work hard for next year at this time..
i really don't understand myself,
why would i fall?
as i already started to get up and fight...
what's wrong with me?
izit i have to fall many times,in order for me to get better results?
im at a very high risk now,i must do better already...
no more mistakes,i cant afford to fall anymore..
it's not fun,
to have sleepless night,
to do things different from others,
and to be looked down...
I SERIOUSLY DO NOT LIKE!
and seriously....
i really do not like accounting at all,
i've been seeking for programme supervisor from every department,
i asked if there's anything they can do for me...
but it's too late...im already in the half way..
i have to continue,i cant stop...
if i stop,i'll be wasting my 1 year time..
i dun have much time with me,
no matter what,i have to continue...
at least i must get my diploma..
den,i will re-plan whether i should continue or just stop there..
im actually torturing myself,
studying things that i dun like,
doing things that i do not wish to,
and just follow the flow...
*big sigh*
why am i such a big failure?
oh my gawd....
im tired,
very tired,
when will my nightmare ends?

3rd August - hoping

i've been worrying something for few weeks,
it's about my studies...
there's 3 subjects that i've been worry...
among the 3....1 passed
im still working on the another 1,as i still can make it pass,
while there's another is already past,and there is high possibility that i can fail that...
there's nothing much to do with that 1...
all i can do is,pray, pray and pray...
hoping that there's a miracle happen...
although it's quite impossible..
i wish that i could pass the paper,
and i promise i will do better in my final,
was not hoping to get high marks,
but at least,let me pass the paper...
i really do afraid...
i dun wan this kind of life anymore...
worrying sick of something..
it's really suffering..
i can do better!
i can change!
hoping for another chance...