30th March~

i don't know wat is all these about..
everytime when i ask u something..
u wouldn't just tell me wat is it or maybe wat is going on..
u may just keep it as a secret from me...
or maybe u tell me that u do not wan to mention it..
as it would makes u unhappy or moody..
if it involves ur privacy matter,den i understand u..
and would let it go..
but,
i know that some of the thing is not privacy at all
but u still insist dun wan to tell me..
and u will keep it as a secret..
everytime in that situation..
u'll say,
i wont understand..
of coz i wont understand..
how could i even understand..
when u're keeping secret from me..
and didnt tell me...
im sorry,
because i didnt spare some of my time..
to understand u more..
im sorry,
to misunderstood u..
as i should trust u more than anyone else..
im sorry,
for wat have i done..
sometimes,i do wat i shudnt..
im sorry,
to be jealous of you..
bcoz u're a girl tat every guy wants to run into..
u also said that do not waste my time on u..
and i replied something,which
i do mean it..

sorry..

been thinking about it for all night long..
i have a presentation later..
i havent done with my speech..
i havent print the hard-copy..
i havent combine all the works..
i have to wake up few hours later..
i have to deal with the stupid car..

it was like a nightmare tat im having while im sleeping,and whenever i wokes up..the nightmare continues..=(

but

when i remembered a dream that i have a moment ago while i was taking nap...i felt that everything worth...although it's just a dream,but our moments in there was a return from wat i have suffer..worth it =)

=/

i have a lot of question to ask,but
i do not have the guts to ask..
as my question will be very mean to u,
or maybe both of us..
arguement will happen,
if i did that..
the question that i wanna ask,
is full of jealously,
full of hatred,
but actually,
the question i wanna ask..
is just full of concern,
me towards you..
i don't want to ruin our relationship..
as im enjoying what i have with you now,
although,i admit that im expecting more than,
what we are,and what we have now...
i prefer suffer it alone,
from not asking u those question..
rather than watching both of us having no topic to talk at all..
i miss ur laughter,ur smile,ur cuteness..
once, i did say that u completed me..u may think that im joking
but i did mean it..
u complete me =)

pay up please! i have a dream to catch!

stupid ptptn,when will they pay my loan? im waiting for that money for decades!
i need the money badly...i need to buy alot of things...
please pay up as soon as possible...please

sigh

i just can't get it...why do some people likes to involve another people in that case in order to criticize another person? i really don't like reading those thing...why must they do that? is it really fun? i just can say tat it is freaking childish! how old are them,do they even know how to think? that's not the way of having fun...please think wisely before u talk..ur excitement may hurt others,ok?!

RedBox Karaoke

not few days ago,went to RedBox Karaoke with a bunch of friends..we sign in at around 2pm which is during Happy Hour period and the price is around RM20 including tax per person..then,they are around 9 of us and we're brought to a large room which we can just run around it..we're excited and we cant stop choosing the song..the songs there are really latest and it's proved that they do update their song from time to time...although we choose alot of new songs,but there's none of us can sing it...we had just start singing for around 40 minutes and we decided to eat something...so,we went out to the lobby as there's a buffet there..there are alot of choices and we do not have enough spaces to fill it them all..we can only try a few dishes that are served...their food,some were tasty while there's also some taste like shit...was thinking that if the chef got cert while he interview that job..ignore the food,do not let it to spoil the mood..we keep singing and singing and singing till our time is up...it couldn't satisfy us as the time really pass too fast...wish to spend longer time there and hopefully the RedBox could fire the chef and hire a better chef..

back-to-school

few days back,after i finished my classes and fetch my frens home..
i dun feel like going home early,it was around 2pm that time if im not mistaken..
so,i've decided to go back to my secondary school,as i always wanted to go back ever since the beginning of sem 2,but didnt have time to do so...
and since it's now school holiday,it's the best to go back now to get back some piece of memories =)

when i stepped in the school :

past :
-every step that i took while im still student is full of stress
my mind is keep thinking bout homeworks,test,kerja kursus,and hairs (sometimes oni la)

present :
-the 1st step that i take,is really full of memories...trying to remind back what i did at the corner, at that spot, on that building and so on...

when i climb the stairs for 4-storey high :

past:
-while im on the stairs during past,i cant wait to reach to the top as the stairs is really unstable as the steps is not balance...while climbing,im thinking that why the hell school didn't plan to put a lift or maybe an escalator? it's really tiring,everytime i reached the 4th floor,it's like reaching the top of the mountain...and it took me about only 1 minute to reach top there,wouldnt spend much time at stairs..

present:
-before i take my 1st step up to the stairs,i look properly if there's any changes....no changes,perfect...since i have time,decided to go slowly,step by step..wondering alot of things such as "did i fell at here before?", "wat jokes did I listen/tell here?" , "whose butt am i whacking?" (kaihao) ...i smiled,and i dunno why...took me bout 5 minutes to reach top there..(old edi)

when i reached the corridor :

past:
-everytime when i reach the corridor/walkway, it's the time to check out who is absent or present...look into class to class to seek for the truant-player...from one class to another...greeting good morning to those who are not quite familiar and "sohai" to those who are very familiar (guys only)...once i reach my class,checking out whether my best mates is absent/present...but usually he comes late..so,will only know he's attendance at the very last minute...sometimes,i'll just sit at the class waiting my friends to come to me as my class is very hotspot for everyone...or maybe if im just too bored,i'll go to others...when we have enough of chit-chatting...it's about time for us to stand at the corridor to look for "cars"...the meaning of cars is not looking for GTR,Fairladyz,Mazda or so whatever...the reason we look for cars is same meaning as checking whether the teachers is absent/present....if they're absent,den it's a hurray! if present,get back in and do our homework =( ....ah!not to forget,at 7.20am,we have to stand at the corridor and listen to the bible talk (islam prayers)...

present:
when i reached there,i walk slowly...looking at the classes...empty...from one to another,still empty...stand outside my classroom,the door is locked...couldnt get in, i wanted to get in and have a sit at my old seats,but it's been removed....i can only take a look at my class from the windows...and get to take few pictures...since,it's lock...den no idea,i stand at the favourite old spot that i used to stand last time with my friends...looking at the cars,checking out who's present...and peeking on junior hot chicks..LOL! <--- (kidding eh) standing there,for about half and hour...it was so,peaceful....close my eyes,put on my ears...and listen to the sound of wind...imagine back to 2 years ago, the noise of the tables/chairs..the footstep of people...the jokes that my friend tell...and so on...(oh god,my tears is about to drop writing this) at the koperasi : past : used to work at there every morning,eventhough i no nid to work there on that day..coz i hate staying at class...and my life at koperasi can be consider as the part of my happiest life at SMKHC...selling things,updating the stocks,use koperasi as the reason to ponteng class..so happy =)... present: the door is locked,couldnt get in,or maybe see through it...no windows,no anything...juz a signboard writing Koperasi SMKHC....missed that time....

at the perhimpunan spot :

past :
no sweet memories,every monday have to sit there from 7.20 to around 8++...it was like drying the salt fish...

present :
look at the spot for few minutes,really no sweet memories...hate it...prefer listen to hitz.fm JJ&Ean Gotcha Call than thinking what's the sweet memories at the perhimpunan spot..

there's actually still alot of things and places at the school i wanna write,but i wouldnt do so,as the best memories of my life at SMKHC is at the places above (except for the perhimpunan spot) serious to say,i love the school...not bcoz of the school Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Hillcrest,it's bcoz the memories,the fun,and the friends that i get from there....this back-to-school thing really helps me alot,in recovering back my memories at here,release some of my stress and get to understand few important things..somehow,it's the place where i met her =)



pictures :

-

again it happened...
some small matter
that caused an arguement..
reason of arguement,
i caused it =(
din mean it all...
was doing assignment,
said something that brings her up..
i feel bad,real bad..
and i dont feel good with it..
i dun like to argue with her..
because it will makes me feel bad..
i was very concern about her,
but sometimes,i just cant control it..
everytime we argue, that's the time i think negatively
please forgive me..
i cant continue with my assignment anymore...

heartache,heartache..

just 2 hours ago,i took the first step to ask a girl for an outing just to watch movie...i was just trying my luck actually,didnt have any high expectation on it...so,she replied me that she have assignment to do but she didnt say no..so,i understand her situation and replied her.."it's ok,nvm" as it is already expected earlier...later she replied that "we can go if the assignment is done"...i was abit thrilled to hear that from her...so,i quickly start on the final assignment that need to be done and have to submit it next week...i've started it and do it well so far,while we chatting...she told me that there's another guy asking for the same thing last week...i suddenly felt that,the assignment that i've doing so far is very very difficult to be done...i felt that i don't understand the question after hearing that....im totally moodless..she doesnt say she cant watch with me or wat...but even she did watch with me...for sure the other guy is looking for another date with her as she went out with me...to avoid her from all these thing,i have to think for her...and i shouldnt go watch the movie with her...tat will makes her like...*i dunno how to explain*...juz tat i do not want her like in the middle of something and it's like she owing us that....no,i dun wan tat! tats what my feeling, i have to cut the conversation with her..as im really speechless,i do not know wat to say...im just,i cant continue with that assignment anymore...i can complete it by friday...but,absolutely not with the mood im having right now...i cant,i just cant...

the road not taken

few days back,before i get to know wat's my result...i was given a choice to choose my pathway..
i was forced by parents to choose another course if i fail more than two subjects in my sem 2 results....as i was interested in music field,i've decided to enter the Mixology which is a school to learn mixing the song and it can also be known as DJ-ing...but, the decision can only be walk if I fail 2 subjects for my accounting course...but if i didnt fail any,den i can continue the course...

on the results day,i didnt fail any....im not happy nor sad with it...i dunno wat feeling is tat..it's too complicated...maybe it's because im happy for didnt fail any and im sad to forgone my DJ dream?

told u,i dun care bout titles..

since it's been a long time i didnt update my blog...i think i have to post something to entertain the readers..
wat happen during this whole week?
much,very much....but
i only remember partly of it...
let me start with my semester 2 results..
my result is...not so good,not so bad..still ok...acceptable...
no fails,no A's...everything is in between...
which means,all B's....
yes..all! 6B's...
i saw my fren's result,but i "shoo"ed them away as i dun wan let them see my result..
before entering the page of the intranet to check my result..was freaking nervous..
i just cant login,bcoz my hand is shaking and i type my password wrongly..
as my hands were shaking,so..i also having difficulty to use the mouse...and i click on the wrong thing..
the wrong thing tat i click is..my 1st sem result..which is terribly sucks,2 fails....at first,i thought it was my current result...for the sem 2...for the first 5 seconds,i felt down...den i see properly..."ciu! 1st sem result...babi!"
den i click back,and search for my 2nd sem result..found it...before clicking it,take a deep breath...click in..saw that 1st sem result again,terrible...scroll down abit..2nd sem result...from top to bottom...all B's....remarks,clear...no resit word...was very very glad...smiley on my face...went to toilet,looked at the mirror..laughed at myself...izit possible i passed all? lol....
met my friends at discussion room in library..had to acted like im depressed and sad about my result...=D
den,went to the SBS office,take the resit paper...to make it more real like im really fail =D
tats all for the whole week...LOL?!

coz there's really nothing special going on lately...other than the results day...

title - i don't care

planned to bring u here and there,
but the plan ended up with everywhere..
couldnt walk the plan...
everything changed..
different,really different..

u said u wanna watch the movie tat is coming,
so i've been waiting for all long to wait the movie to release,
planned to watch it with u,
but now,i couldnt do so..
somehow,im forbidden to do so..
been waiting for a suitable time to ask u for a movie,
but thinking rationally,im still hesitating..=(

title does not matter,wat matter is just the content

i couldnt stop staring at u,
bcoz i enjoy every single moment tat my eyes is attached with urs..
ur beautiful face are then injected to my brain,
tat makes me think of u at every moment..

i wouldnt blink my eyes,
bcoz i would forgone 0.5 second of time to look at u..

i wanted to text u a message,
but i couldn't do it,
thinking back what happen on that night,
it makes me feel terrible...

wat can i do,is juz wait for urs..
i've standby my phone right next to me,
hoping to receive a message from u,
i've receive message from,
digi,him,her but not u..
hoping ur name will be appear on the top screen of my phone..
but ended up with disappointment...

im hurted

things aren't getting in the way it suppose to be..i dunno wat to write =/