27th July - Starry night

i should be studying right now instead of blogging,
there's an important test 2moro,
it's like a matter of live and death for me..
im taking like,an hour of break already..
i gotta continue study soon,
till the next morning and straight away to class..
i've just drank a can of coffee that i bought not long ago..
not sure if it works,i hope it do..
actually,im not feeling well for about a week already..
during weekends,i rest alot and have no time to study..
that makes me last minute work again..
i sick at the wrong time..
although i rest alot,it's still the same...
if there's no any test on 2moro,i'll probably sleep like nobody's business right now..
in fact,i do have test...and it's important..
sleep,i can sleep anytime...
but if i do terribly on this test,i'll be as good as dead..
my shoulder is very heavy...
in terms of neck stiffness,
and also burden...
im carrying a very big burden on me for a very long time...
im very tired,i havent properly have a peace of mind for the past 5 or 6 weeks..
although it's all gonna end soon,but still on the way..
out of sudden,i missed the starry night...
it's been very long time since the last time i saw it...
shiny and bright full moon,
that makes the sky clear and bright,
together with the sky that full of stars..
the silence of the street,
the windy night,
makes me feel like im the only one that lives in the earth..
i wish i could have chance to see it again..
sooner or later perhaps?

24th July - concentration

im very very disappointed with myself for what i did for this whole semester
it was not cool at all
i will drag myself to a very deep shit if it continues
i must stop all these
i can stop it,
it wasnt too late after all,
i still can change something,
but all i need is start to work hard,
i need concentration,
all i need is concentration,
it's my last chance,
it's time for me to get serious,
im very very regret to be fooling around,
god,please......
i wish nothing from YOU
all i need is just concentration....

17th July - Disappointment

im facing alot of troubles at college,
and everything that happens,
is actually full of disappointment,
im really disappointed with my life,
whatever happens,it happens exactly the same,
there's no surprise for me in my life,
and that makes my life predictable,
not just my life,im disappointed with myself also,
i thought i can do better,but it never happens,
i never concentrate on what im doing,
many people said that im changed,but..
in fact,i didnt...im still the same
i wish i changed,i wish to start all over again
im sick with my life,i do not wish to continue it..
but i must...
i shouldnt be so selfish,i must think of others as well
im running out of time,i must start to do something before it's too late..
but,how am i gonna start? where should i begin?
i wish that there's someone always be there for me when i needed help..
lead me, guide me, care me, and understand me..

11th July - Investment

recently,there's something that keep buzzing my mind..
it's about investment...
but,it's not about the investment that u all might be thinking..
it does not involve the matter of profits or so watever..
it's an investment about talent..
i've thinking it for some quite of time..
im not sure whether this investment does works or not..
i've thinking of learning something new and special which i really obsessed with it..
before tis,i do think of it before..
but im facing some financial issues on that time..
so,i couldnt walk the talk by that time..
now,since i can handle my financial properly..
i felt that it's time for me to walk the talk instead of talk the talk..
but,support is all i need...
these investment needs big amount of money,
although im fine with it,but my parents wouldn't think so..
they are somehow,old fashioned...
i could rarely discuss with them..
wat can i do is,
waiting for a proper time and try to persuade them...=/